I had such good intentions for this blog. Unfortunately all of my posts stay in my head, loosely written in my mind as I fall asleep. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about why I have put up a wall and just not made time for blogging. Bear with me as I sort it all out.
First, blogging is work. Hard work. I know a lot of people wouldn’t think so, but the time it takes to write, take pictures, edit etc. is far more than most people would think. But, I have an abundance of time staying here at home, so I don’t suppose that is the real issue.
After my Learning the Cricut blog, I felt so much pressure to produce, to create, to keep things for readers to come back to. Honestly, I went from a cricut expert teaching at the Creating Keepsakes Convention, making kits, etc to not touching my Cricut. Ever. Cali will ask to get it out and I just have no interest whatsoever. I enjoy sewing and don’t want to burn out on it too. I don’t want to feel like I have to keep up with the other blogs. Comparison is an ugly monster that I need to learn to tame. Hmmmm…getting closer I think.
Finally, to be completely honest, I struggle. A lot. I sleep way too much. I’ve struggled with depression since i was 16. Not the “I’m so sad and things suck” kind of depression, but more like that continuous weight of a boulder on my back that exhausts me. It’s hard. “Pull yourself together” doesn’t work. Most days I’m unmotivated and content to go back to bed after I take Cali to school and sleep the day away. Part of it is I am here with my MIL all day who has a brain injury. I know it sounds horrible, but there are times it’s just easier to crawl back in bed than to deal with those issues.
Still, through it all, I have been getting a few things accomplished. Not housework, or blogging mind you, but that’s okay.
Today is a new day.